Having no family history of breast cancer or any cancer within my family, I found a lump in my breast and didn’t want to have my life inconvenienced by it, so I made the mistake many women make and I chose to ignore it. I’ve always listened to my body but it took me having food poisoning two weeks later to see my GP and have a ‘’by the way doc I have this lump’’ conversation because my body was now screaming at me that something was not right which led to blood tests, a mammogram, a biopsy and I found myself listening to my surgeon tell me that I now had this dreaded disease. Hearing those words forever changed my life, and although it has taken now 4 years of treatment and procedures and many highs and lows I still wake up everyday with so much gratitude in my heart, because I am alive, because I listened to my body when something felt wrong.
I am resilient by nature, I had previously adventured off to live and work in Dubai for 3 years and because of my ambition to succeed, I was ready for the battle that was before me, so I thought. I had a breast lumpectomy 10 days after being diagnosed and that was when my diagnosis was confirmed to be an aggressive Stage 2 Hormone positive breast cancer. Given my type of cancer I underwent tubal ligation surgery before I started chemotherapy as a preventative measure, because a hormone surge caused by pregnancy could be detrimental to me. My boyfriend and I had long before decided we weren’t going to have children, so as difficult as the decision was I made it because I knew it could potentially be reversed if ever I changed my mind.
My body could only tolerate 3 out of the 4 rounds of chemotherapy followed by 36 radiation sessions which left me fighting cellulitis infections and lymphedema throughout my treatments. I pushed through treatment as hard as I could, fought every side effect that it through at me because, I knew if I did, I was rewarding myself with a long awaited trip to Thailand. However after radiation I found myself being hospitalized for 8 days for a severe cellulitis infection on my radiation site, which at the time wasn’t nearly as painful as finding out that my boyfriend of 5 years whom I shared a home with was on his way to Thailand with another woman.
Cancer treatment was tough but add to that a deceptive cheating partner and even the strongest willed mind will breakdown. Being a women of immense faith I took time in prayer and went on a religious pilgrimage with two of the strongest women of faith that I love and respect and there I left my pain, anger and broken heart to my Creator because only he could mend me and make me whole again. So I forgave my boyfriend for myself, because that is truly what forgiveness is, releasing oneself of the burden of the wrong doing of others. I had far too much against me to have to carry more baggage, I was still in a fight with my own body to live.
8 weeks after radiation was completed I began my 10 year journey on hormone therapy, which consisted of daily aromasin tablets and quarterly zoladex implants. I attempted to reintegrate into my position at the large corporate I am employed by and very quickly was confronted by the challenges cognitively that I now faced because of Chemo brain and Estrogen stripping which had placed me in chemically induced Menopause at the age of 33. Hot flushes, insomnia, bone degeneration, constant aches and pains, easily bruising, weight gain, depression and anxiety, to name a few of the conditions I live with to BE ALIVE.
Despite these conditions I made the choice to never be defined by them, I’ve never been someone who conformed to any social norm. This journey has taught me that the only box I will ever fit into will one day be a coffin, but until then I will accept what has been thrown my way. I completed 18months of these treatments whilst trying to manage the many side effects they came with in addition to those of Chemotherapy and radiation and just the mental and emotional exhaustion I felt from living with Cancer and the countless ways it had forever changed my life. I made the tough decision to have a complete hysterectomy in November 2019 and to continue on Tamoxifen for the duration of my 10 years. Although it was my personal choice to not have children, having that choice taken from me is still a deeply rooted pain I struggle with until this day.
It feels as though the world stops turning when you are diagnosed with cancer at any stage, however life around you continues, some will support your journey, some pity you, some inspire and encourage you, some don’t know how to behave around you and some will even betray you, which was what I experienced during my treatment. I was in a toxic relationship and even before my cancer diagnosis, my partner cheated on me and worse still he cheated during my active treatment and even after we became engaged months later. Depression and anxiety is normal to experience when diagnosed with a dreaded disease, now add to that a cheating partner, when the very treatments I was undergoing to live was physically affecting my femininity and ravaging my self confidence and body.
Not being able to do my job, was a breaking point, I accepted being institutionalized in a mental health clinic and so began my journey with mental illness. With so much time on my hands, being placed on temporary disability again from work, I began volunteering my time with Cancer patients through Look Good Feel Better, a NGO that provides free skin care and makeup workshops to women and men in active cancer treatment in public and private oncology facilities. I lost two very important people in my life 5 days apart of each other both passing from Cancer, it was the greatest privilege of my life to have been by their sides through all the highs and lows, and the physical scars that their cancers inflicted on them. Though they never knew each other, they would often give me the same advice, to live my Purpose.
After their passing, I walked away from that toxic relationship in March 2020 after being engaged to him for six months and thankfully so because I made the choice to be always be Authentically who I now am, with complete loving support of my family & friends and medical team, I am now living my Purpose in life.
I’ve since joined the Durban Youth Council as an Executive Steering Member and Director of the NPC, I am a Leader Volunteer for CANSA, a Cancer Champion of Hope for Machi Filotimo Project and the Chairperson of MM Empowerment an NPO focusing on skills development and community upliftment. This is in honor of my mother who passed away on 01/01/21, my mother loved her community and always helped wherever and however she could and as her only daughter I will continue her legacy.
Im currently writing a book in addition to Motivational Speaking and strongly advocating for Cancer awareness, I mentor youth at various schools and colleges in Durban, prioritizing their mental health.
Being the Brand Ambassador for Ross Ink Aesthetics is a great honor for me, not only does the Ethos speak to everything I stand for but providing tangible hope in restoring self confidence lost through cancer or any unfortunate circumstance of life which has left a person scarred is the greatest service to humanity.
I trust wholeheartedly in the process of Regan Ross being a Fine artist for many years and the ground breaking software he uses to create the VA for breast cancer patients. I see nothing but greatness in this initiative and the artist behind all the hard work.
My name is Kim Gillot, I am a Breast Cancer Thriver and
Brand Ambassador for Ross Ink Aesthetics
